A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can’t let him get away. So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. “What happened?” she asked.“You used to walk straight before we were married.”
“Oh, honey,” he replied, “I can’t drink that much every day.”
Three construction contractors died and went to heaven—a Black, a Jew, and an Italian. When they got there St. Peter weed them warmly and asked if they could do him a favor before they entered heaven. It seems that the Pearly gates were in need of some repair, and he wanted some estimates.