The old saying that you should live each day as though it’s your last is a nice sentiment, but it doesn’t work. Take it from me. I tried it once and here’s what I learned: if I pursued only happiness and lived just for the moment, I’d be a poor husband and father, a waster with a perpetual1 three-day growth on my chin. Cancer taught me that. Suffering, I learned, is as essential to a good life, and as inextricable2 as bliss.
Before cancer, whatever I imagined happiness to be, pretty soon I wore it out, took it for granted or threw it away. A portfolio, a Porsche, a coffee machine—these things were important to me. So was my hair. Then I lost them; including the hair.
When I was 25, I was diagnosed with advanced testicular cancer, which had metastasized into my lungs and brain. I sold my car, gave up my career as a world- class cyclist, lost a good deal of money and barely hung on to my life. When I went into remission, I thought happiness woul